Sobriety

Long motherfucking story short I got a DUI. Now not wanting to lose my license even though my car is a broken down piece of shit I have to get tested for drugs and alcohol just about every week until my court date. So that means I've been sober for almost a month now and I'm actually doing pretty well. I'm in love with a married woman who will definitely never think i'm good enough for her buuuut thats okay with me. I'm suddenly able to not fall apart over every little thing. Sure if she died I'd probably kill myself but that sounds perfectly reasonable to me. I love absolutely everything about this bitch. She's super cheesy and corny and makes ugly faces anytime i tell her she's pretty. She's shockingly beautiful for as ugly/tubby. She's pretty much perfect in my eyes and way out of my league. That being said she is married and im a piece of shit. Anyway that is the highlight of my life right now. I have no job, no car, and zero prospects but at least theres her and she makes everything better to me. I'm not sure if its the attraction to suddenly having regular sex or my meds, or the lack of drugs and alcohol but i'm having an actual attack of happiness. I'm not sure I actually like it because dear god my happy articles suuuuuck but I think i'd rather be somewhat happen with my dreamgirl than be good at this fucking blog. That being said i will try to step up my game and maybe not be zoned out on klonopin (its prescribed calm the fuck down) the next time I write one of these. Don't worry im sure ill be back on drugs and alcohol in no time and ill get dropped by dreamgirl any day and then my blog can be depressing and enjoyable once more.

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Feeling a little erratic

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Okay i needed to calm the fuck down