I just turned 34. I have a very vague plan for what i want to do with my life but its taking forever. The main problem is a lack of money and a lack of ability to be useful to any employer for more than a week so I can make said money. I'm currently employed as a housekeeper but since i just started im only working two days a week which means my paycheck is pretty shitty. Its made worse by my meth addiction which takes any and all excess money I have. So far I have two plans for what to do to change my life for the better. The first requires me to save several thousand dollars and buy a motorhome and make my way to LA and get an opening position as a production assistant on films, tv, and web and hopefully work my way up to a position in which I really want to do all while living in my motorhome on the side of the streets next to bums and hookers I will probably pay to fellate me fortnightly. My other option is to save just a couple thousand to be able to move to boise and get a whatever the fuck kind of job while I try to get an internship to a production company. Both of these options sound good to me because I hate where I'm living now. I think if I just set my standards for how much meth im doing I would be able to save enough to get the fuck out of here. I am giving up on quitting but im only gonna try to do it once every 2 months. I am on probation by the way so I get piss tested anyway. I'm on tons of medication which is a good thing and a bad thing, good because im so fucked up i might be getting disability and bad because every methhead and junkie within a 100 mile radius has heard that I now regularly take saboxen strips to help with withdrawl and cravings. Druggies like having them cuz they knock you out and make you forget that you're a shitty druggy. I have nothing and no one to keep me here other than my parents who say they want me there with them but i'm pretty sure they're tired of my bullshit. I want to make a life that is my own and stand on my own two feet but I always get in my own way. Goddamn i wish i'd died at 30