So ive known this for a while but i figure ill tell you dear reader right now. Killing yourself is much harder than it looks. I recently had a run in with the old razor blade and made quite a few forearm cuts in the traditional pattern but oddly enough it barely bled and I ended up here, not dead and currently typing away on my still completely functional arms. I’m not totally sure why i even started doing it. I had recently started talking to my ex so that was probably a little bit of it for sure but other than that I guess i was just having a really bad moment. I’m slightly prone to having these little bad moments to one degree or another (this was not my first but will hopefully be my last attempt). I was hurried away to a mental hospital where i spent a couple of weeks pacing the halls and feeling self conscious about my arms. That is why future reader my site unfortunately shut down. I was not there to pay it because i didnt have autopay setup cuz im poor and dont prioritize things well. I’m on a couple new meds but none of them are fun to take so that sucks but I am feeling better. I have actually been clean off meth for almost a month now so i’m less depressed and stressed out. I have also come to know the lord jesus christ…..just kidding he’s still a stranger to me. Fortunately although a very short time ago i was very down in the dumps it seems like this little event gave me the kick I needed to improve my life. I intend to make this blog popular and be able to write this bullshit full time, yep you cant get rid of me that easy. So lets make a pact together. I wont kill myself as long as you keep reading mkay??